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laff? i nearly made a mothers day card...
Facebook :
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A BLACK MOTHER IF...
Type:
Just for Fun - Totally Random
Description:
You No You Have A BlackMother If:>>>>
You`ve ever been called from downstairs, upstairs, the back of the house,or from the front of the house to fix her a glass of ice water, get her,the remote control, or change the channel
You`ve ever been hit with an extension cord, a switch or the nearest shoe or object
You`ve ever had to pick your own switch or belt, and she sent you back ifthe switch or belt you got was to small
You`ve ever been hit in the head or knuckles with a hairbursh or comb
You`ve been told to "Shut Up or I`ll give you something to cry about" while she beats you with a belt-pronouncing every syllable ---"Didn`t ---I-- tell ---- you --- not--- to --- do ---that --- *!*!$? --- no --- more?
You were scared to go home wen you got a bad report card
You were never "on punishment" just got whippins str8 out of the bathroom shower
You`ve ever been pinched for going to sleep in church
She made you participate in every church activity (choir, Jr. Usher>>Board Easter play, Christmas play, etc.)
When you ask her for something, her response is..."You got a job?" or "Go get a job"
You`ve ever been beaten for something your brother or sister did, just because you were around.
She vacuums everyday just so the carpet can have lines in it.
You`ve ever been told to turn off the TV, get off the phone, or sit downand be quiet when it`s storming outside because the Lord was doing his
You`ve ever been hung up on...for calling her collect you.
Friends, family and friends of the family try to keep you out of trouble because they know your mother and how she is
You were afraid to call the child abuse hotline
She has to pray to GOD.."Lord, please don`t let me hurt this child!!">>Before she gives you a whippin
You would pick up something in tesco she wud give you "the look" and ud put it right back
Whan you wanted something a common reply was "we have got it/can make it at home"
Swearing would get you killed a few white friends did it
If you did or said something stupid a common respose was "who do you think i am? do i look like your friend!?"
Her cooking was the best beaten only by grannys
She saved that "big piece of chicken" for your dad
If You Can Relate To Any Of These>>BE PROUD IN KNOWIN THAT U HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BLACK MOTHER , WHO DIDN`T TAKE >>NO>>MESS WHEN U WERE GROWING UP!!!>>>>GODBLESS OUR BEAUTIFUL BLACK MOTHERS
Contact InfoCountry:
England
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9/6/2007, 13:32
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musictouristboard
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Posts: 1167
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Re: laff?
From regional radio shows to "Who Wants To be a Millionaire?" and "University Challenge," people make fools of themselves -- as internet site www.jumpingjacksbar.com found in collating some of the worst howlers.
Here are leading contenders for the "Dumb Down" gold medal:
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22,1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then
Presenter: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant: Forrest Gump
Presenter: In which country is Mount Everest?
Contestant: Er, it's not in Scotland is it?
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the
name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Presenter: In which European city was the first opera house
opened in 1637?
Contestant: Sydney
Presenter: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and
Israel last?
Contestant: (after long pause) Fourteen days
Presenter: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
Contestant: (after pause) Pearl Harbor?
Presenter: What is the currency in India
Contestant: Ramadan
Presenter: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which
jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he
play?
Contestant: Jesus
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1/2/2008, 10:22
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