Staybrite
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Drummers and Bass Players
These made me think of Mel and Free...
Q: What's the first thing a drummer says when he comes to your door?
A: "PIZZA!"
Q: Why don't bass players ever catch a cold?
A: Even a virus has some pride.
Q: How do you get a bass player to stop playing?
A: Put some sheet music in front of him.
Q: How do you know when the stage is even?
A: When drool comes out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth
Q: What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
A: HOMELESS!!!
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Never mind, the piano player can do it with his left hand.
Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
A: a drummer
Q: Why do drummers think that they are musicians?
A: Because they are usually better than the bass player.
---
Peace, that brief period in history when everyone stops to reload.
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11/7/2007, 11:17 pm
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Free04
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Re: Drummers and Bass Players
Q:If you drop a Guitar Player and a watermelon off a tall building, which would hit the ground first ?
A: Who cares ?
Last edited by Free04, 11/8/2007, 10:54 am
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11/8/2007, 10:52 am
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Free04
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Re: Drummers and Bass Players
quoting
Staybrite ...
Q: Why do drummers think that they are musicians?
A: Because they are usually better than the bass player.
I don't think so...ever tried to follow a drummer. I don't think they ever play the same song the same every time.
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11/8/2007, 10:56 am
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Order ofMelchizedek
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Re: Drummers and Bass Players
Well that's good to hear! This shouldn't be too hard to learn after all.
If I could just get the drool thing down....
---
I know who saved my soul and I want this world to know, that I was once blind, once lost, Now I'm blood bought, reconciled to God by the blood He shed on the cross. -Eternal M.o.G.
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11/8/2007, 12:42 pm
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Staybrite
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Re: Drummers and Bass Players
quoting
Free04 ...
I don't think so...ever tried to follow a drummer. I don't think they ever play the same song the same every time.
Well the good ones certainly don't. I actually play much better with a good drummer.
Last edited by Staybrite, 11/8/2007, 2:18 pm
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11/8/2007, 2:17 pm
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Staybrite
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Re: Drummers and Bass Players
There were also a couple of funny guitarist ones too.
Q: How many guitarists does it take to cover a Jimmy Hendrix song?
A: Apparently all of them.
Q: How many guitarits does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 151. One to change the bulb, and 150 to say "I could have done that".
---
Peace, that brief period in history when everyone stops to reload.
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11/8/2007, 2:21 pm
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Order ofMelchizedek
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Re: Drummers and Bass Players
What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
Drool.
Why do bands have bass players?
To translate for the drummer.
How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?
You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground.
What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once.
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have machines to do that now.
Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
He had to break a window to get the drummer out!
Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes?
So they don't have to retrain the drummers.
If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.
I asked my drummer to spell "Mississippi"...
He said, "the river or the state?"
Two drummers walk into a bar, which is actually kind of funny, because you would think that the second guy would have seen the first one do it.
What is the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A drum machine can keep a steady beat and won't steal your girlfriend!
Q: Why are drummers always losing their watches?
A: Everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.
Q: How do you call a drummer?
A: You can't. They don't pay their phone bill.
A man was looking for a new brain. He went to a brain surgeon and told him of his problem. The surgeon said, " I only have three brains left." The man said, " Well what's the cheapest?" The surgeon said, " I have a doctor's brain for cheap." The man said," We'll that's great, what else do you have?" The surgeon said, " I also have the brain of a rocket scientist, but that's just a little more pricy." The man replied, " Wow if you have the brain of a rocket scientist, the last one must be really smart." The surgeon said, " The most expensive one I have, is a drummer's brain." The man said, " Why is a drummer's brain so expensive?" The surgeon replied, " We'll because it's never been used before."
What is the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
One will mature and make money.
Q:How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:100: 1 to hold the light bulb and 99 to drink until the room spins.
Q. Did you ever hear about the drummer who finished high school?
A. Me neither!
how can you get a drummer off your porch?
pay for the pizza!
Q. How do you know when a drummers outside your door?
A. The knock gets faster.
Q:How many drummers can you fit in a phone booth?
A: None, "There's not enough room in there man!!"
What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Gifted.
"Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
"Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer."
Two girls are walking along when they hear...
"Psst! Down here!"
They both look down and see a frog sitting beside the road. The frog says to them, "Hey, if you kiss me I'll turn into a world famous drummer and make you both rich and famous!" The two girls looked at each other, and one of them reached down and grabbed the frog and stuffed it in her pocket.
The other girl said, "What did you do that for?"
The first replied, "I'm not stupid. I know a talking frog is worth heaps more than a famous drummer any day!!!"
A man goes to an exotic tropical island for a vacation. As the boat nears the island, he notices the constant sound of drumming coming from the island. As he gets off the boat, he asks the first native he sees how long the drumming will go on. The native casts about nervously and says "very bad when the drumming stops."
At the end of the day, the drumming is still going and is starting to get on his nerves. So, he asks another native when the drumming will stop. The native looks as if he's just been reminded of something very unpleasant. "Very bad when the drumming stops," he says, and hurries off.
After a couple of days with little sleep, our traveller is finally fed up, grabs the nearest native, slams him up against a tree, and shouts "What happens when the drumming stops?!!"
"Bass solo."
There is a bar with a bunch of drummers in it and they are all yelling "51 days, 51 days!" and more and more keep coming in, they are all ordering drinks and yelling "51 days! 51 days!" the bartender has a puzzled look on his face as more and more come into the bar and order more and more drinks and chant and chant. finally, the bartender asks one of the drummers why they are all celebrating and chanting"51 days! 51 days!" the drummer answers with, "well, we all just finished a puzzle in 51 days and the box said 2 to 4 years!"
"Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a drummer."
His mother scoffs and replies...
"Well, you can't do both."
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None--they just steal somebody else's light.
What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
Counterpoint.
What's the best thing to play on a guitar?
Solitaire.
Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed?
---
I know who saved my soul and I want this world to know, that I was once blind, once lost, Now I'm blood bought, reconciled to God by the blood He shed on the cross. -Eternal M.o.G.
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11/8/2007, 11:20 pm
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Staybrite
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Re: Drummers and Bass Players
quoting
Order ofMelchizedek ...
"Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a drummer."
His mother scoffs and replies...
"Well, you can't do both."
Undoubtedly the funniest joke in the bunch.
---
Peace, that brief period in history when everyone stops to reload.
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11/9/2007, 2:23 pm
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Order ofMelchizedek
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Re: Drummers and Bass Players
I liked the two girls and the frog one best!
---
I know who saved my soul and I want this world to know, that I was once blind, once lost, Now I'm blood bought, reconciled to God by the blood He shed on the cross. -Eternal M.o.G.
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11/9/2007, 3:28 pm
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Board's time is: 12/4/2008, 1:07 am
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HEY! 
I'm not even a drummer yet. I'm only aspiring to delivering pizza and drooling! Some day .... 
