Dearth
Tourist Guide
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Registered: 05-2004
Location: Wigan, NW England
Posts: 356
Karma: 6 (+9/-3)
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Good Pie-eeeeeeee!
 "As a lad I was often found getting into scrapes with crack-whores and ma' *****es in the Compton Ghetto, before Father decided that we'd move to Wigan in Lancashire, England.
Now, Wiganers are famous for pies and as an adopted son of that fair land, I too became a 'pie-eater'.
Wiganers are often referred to as being ‘pie-eaters’ - this has nothing to do with their love for pies (even though there are a lot of pie fans!). It dates back to the miners’ strike in the 1920s, when Wigan miners were forced back to work before the strike was over. As a result they were said to have eaten ‘humble pie’ - hence the nick-name.
As a result of the above, there are numerous jokes about pies and pie-eating - a lot of them are simply ‘Essex Girl’ type jokes, in which the word kebab has been substituted for pie.
An example of a ‘pie joke’:-
What’s a balanced meal in Wigan?
A pie in each hand!
So we’re stereotyped forever - I say we, because I feel a kinship for them folks and they treated me like one of their own... the same way Tarzan was accepted by the animals of the... Mowgli I mean, Mowgli!
All the above however is lies - here's the truth - 'A Historie of Wiggine and her Pyes’."
237 A.D.
Wigan (known then as 'Wigginium') was ruled by the tribal chief Herbertius, who was famed for his ability to produce 'mad bird noises' by simply placing a piece of grass between his two thumbs and blowing (he could also do a bizarre 'Punch & Judy' noise too - long before they appeared at Blackpool and the like). He could also balance numerous coins on his elbow, and could flick and catch them whilst under the influence of mead, thus he is remembered as being 'The Father Of Pub Tricks'.
A popular dish of the time was the 'pratus pye' (forget Sir Wally Rally - Alfus Pyemon brought them over to the U.K. from Ireland in 203 A.D. and this, along with mead consumption lead to the ginnels and alleys of Wigginium being strewn with excess vomit and crusts.
In a recent archaeological dig, 378 'pye teens' were discovered buried in Mesnes Park in Wigan... these are containers made to prevent finger-burnage when one's pye was ingested 'on-the-go' and date back to 242 a.d. and thus prove that indeed 'thee pyes did cumm'.
Sadly, in these modern times, peatsers and key-babs have replaced this delicacy and explain the weak consistency of the vomit seen strewn around some of the 'top-spots' of Wigan on a Friday evening nowadays.
But the spirits of Wigan's ancestors are still reputed to roam with their 'pyes' throughout Wigan!
"I have to go now as there is a half-eaten meat & potato pie in front of me that needs consuming before Mama comes in and finds that I've NOT just been eating Milky Ways between meals!
Good pie!"
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3/Jan/2005, 20:03
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