Dearth
Tourist Guide
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Registered: 05-2004
Location: Wigan, NW England
Posts: 356
Karma: 6 (+9/-3)
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Wommen - what is they - how do they work?
 "Women have always fascinated me, both as an admirer and a creeper that does hang around behind privet hedges!
But how do they work? They is not the same as we male-men.
Here's the script to this farce..."
A Woman’s minds work thusly:
In the head of every woman is a wee mouse on a wheel.
The wheel is attached to a dynamo to generate electrical energy.
The energy runs the body... except for when a woman coughs and sneezes at the same time, when it 'shorts', causing the emergency sprinklers to come on thus making the woman void her bladder (or 'wet her drawers').
And the mouse...
The mouse generally likes to read 'The Female Eunuch' by Germaine Greer, and a few Barbara Cartland novels - hence the wild and crazy mood swings.
The mouse is always on a diet too - yet has a chemical imbalance forcing it to want chocolate 24/7.
The mouse suffers intermittent narcolepsy and sexual insomnia, thus making the woman want sex late at night when her 'fella' is too tired, and causing her to go into an almost comatose sleep when he's 'up for it'.
The mouse has good taste in the kind of clothes that look good on other women, forgetting that the women it is in control of doesn't suit the ensemble - hence, 'Mutton Dresses As Lamb' is a phrase that is often applicable.
The mouse has a selective and subjective short term memory issue when its woman is out drinking with her fella - it can't recall how much she has drunk, but knows EXACTLY how much he has consumed!
At a certain age, the mouse snuffs it - luckily if the wheel is inactive for longer than 10 hours, the 'autopilot' kicks in and the woman can operate effectively on a basic level.
It's easy to see when the mouse has died - it generally happens in supermarkets where the woman will invariably leave the trolley in everyone's way and go and stare at some product for an age.
It is my opinion that a lot of women out there have been running on autopilot for quite some time!
"Right... I'm off to make tea - even I know how to do that, you don't need a woman for teamaking!
Now coffee... that's a different matter!
Gutten-Byk!"
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8/Sep/2005, 17:10
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