Cold Kerfuffles? ~ at Runboard.com

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Cold Kerfuffles?

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Dearth
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Registered: 05-2004
Location: Wigan, NW England
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Cold Kerfuffles?

"Now in this unseasonal season, it's easy to get cold isn't it Andy?"

"Yeah"

"So I have come up with the following tips to help...

Fat is good for keeping you warm as it is an excellent insulator (I have a radiator jacket filled with lard that works splendidly), but if you’re scared of all those calories, why not take a high fat food and melt it? You can then rub it over yourself to help keep warm.

Add paprika or cayenne pepper to your tea or coffee - it may taste revolting, but it should warm you up.

Heating bills getting you down? Get yourself a skipping rope - every time you feel the chill, have a good skip - careful not to get fit though - you’ll need that fat to keep warm!

Go to the chippy on a busy day. When you get to the front of the queue, say “Oh heck I’ve forgot my money, I’ll have to go back for it!” - if it’s anything like our chippy, you should get at least 30 mins. of someone else’s heating!

Try your best not to sweat - it may be okay at first, but when it cools you’re going to feel cold again!

Trick your brain - think WARM! Maybe a photo of a fire on the wall might help you to think that you’re in a warm room.

Now, what do you think Andy?"

"I like tha' bit about the chipee"

"I thought you might"

"Can aye 'av sum chips?"

"But you only had tea 20 minutes ago!"

"Burram still hungree... can you go to the chippee for us?"

"Oh okay... it'll keep the cold out."

"An' al' have a pudden, a fish, some peas..."

"Oh what a kerfuffle!"

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3/Jan/2005, 21:00

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