MAXIMIZER
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spiderman 3: WARNING! these are my friends words, not mine. Swearing is involved
Let me start out by saying that this movie was the biggest letdown of any movie I've seen prior.
As soon as the movie began and Spiderman was narrating, I knew that it was going to be disappointing. The first few sentences were poorly written.
It then moves on to Spidey laying in a bed of webbing, watching some shooting stars, and as luck would have it, a meteorite lands nearby. You'll never guess what comes crawling out of it... Nothing less than the symbiote (Spidey's dark suit), which immediately attaches itself to Spidey's moped. Yadda yadda yadda.
This is where it gets ridiculous...
The black suit attaches itself to Spidey while he is having a bad dream about his Uncle's tragic death. What happens? Spidey immediately sports an emo kid's haircut, and he instantly turns into a dancing asshole. Actually, he turns into a badass, dancing, asshole. And it's at this point that the screenplay presents itself in a whole new light. In other words, it goes from [dog] **** that sits in your yard to the **** that gets stuck on the bottom of your shoe.
That's enough on Spidey, so I'll move on to the NEXT CHARACTER now.
Do you know what I hate worse than ****ty dialogue? ****ty dialogue in conjunction with an invincible villain. Sandman (Flint Marko) is a convict, and he is being chased by the cops. There is a fence in his way, so he proceeds to climb over it when the camera zooms in on a sign that says "Practical Physics Testing." Gee, I wonder what this will lead to. Sandman runs through a field, falls in a hole filled with sand, and this huge machine that rearranges molecules turns on. There is one small problem with this; we don't know what the hell this molecular device is used for. Why are they rearranging the molecules of sand? We never find out. Now, Spidey faces a difficult challenge: you can't kill something made entirely of sand. Also, they link the death of Spiderman's uncle to Sandman. What a great way to make the plot even more convoluted and stupid. One last comment: Thomas Haden Church is a horrible actor.
ONTO THE NEXT CHARACTER!
The Green Goblin returns in this film; only it is Harry this time, and he is trying to avenge his father's death via killing Spiderman. Harry gets amnesia after a little spill caused by Spiderman. Some things happen, and he ends up kissing Mary Jane Watson. Shortly there after, he gets his memory back and uses Mary Jane against Spidey. I won't give away his "diabolical" plan to exploit Mary Jane for all you lucky people that haven't seen the film yet. The character, Green Goblin, is accompanied with some more ****ty dialogue, and a very cliché death, but only after he teams up with Spiderman.
And then there was Venom...
Venom's character looked pretty cool, and that's about it. His lines sounded forced and stupid; he had a lame weakness, which the writer pulled out of his ass; he squealed like a pig; and he died a very boring, dissatisfying death. His one and only weakness was loud, reverberating noise, and we'll leave it at that.
The movie had several unnecessary side scenes. For example, the action cuts out, and the camera focuses on a kid that says, "Wicked awesome", for no apparent reason.
There is a scene where Spidey dances which was embarrassing for me to watch.
The most memorable line [for me] is when Harry says, "I used to protect you in high school, but now I'm going to kick your little ass." Overall, I think it's writing like that that ruined the film for me.
This movie had so much potential, but Sam Raimi made a mockery out of it. If I was working for him, I would have quit. Either that, or I would have slapped him in the face, kicked him in the balls, and then kicked him again while he was on the ground. THEN I would help him up, and proceed to club him in the knees.
Please, make a mockery out of some more amazing comic book heroes, Sam.
I have so many more complaints, but most of you probably won't read this as it is. Maybe I'll ***** about it later when I see you in person.
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May/5/2007, 10:36 am
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NsJake
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Re: spiderman 3: WARNING! these are my friends words, not mine. Swearing is involved
This is the first real negative review that I've seen for the movie. Most of the ones that I've read have been posative, and say that the movie is great. I'm seeing it tommorow, but I hope it's not corny like how your friend is discribing it.
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May/5/2007, 11:29 am
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MAXIMIZER
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Re: spiderman 3: WARNING! these are my friends words, not mine. Swearing is involved
quote:
NsJake wrote:
This is the first real negative review that I've seen for the movie. Most of the ones that I've read have been posative, and say that the movie is great. I'm seeing it tommorow, but I hope it's not corny like how your friend is discribing it.
I thought it was good myself, but everyone has a different opinion.
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May/5/2007, 11:52 am
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NsJake
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Re: spiderman 3: WARNING! these are my friends words, not mine. Swearing is involved
I'm seeing it tommorow, I can't wait!
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May/5/2007, 7:58 pm
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syluxx
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Re: spiderman 3: WARNING! these are my friends words, not mine. Swearing is involved
i liked it, but it could have been better. im not like ur english teacher for a friend, the script was not that bad, but i can c wat he means about the side cut scenes, and ya. the movie was good. o ya vemon's death did suck ass but whatever
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May/7/2007, 2:53 pm
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Metal Man
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Re: spiderman 3: WARNING! these are my friends words, not mine. Swearing is involved
there were somethings i did find a bit dumb like for instance sand man he has escaped from jail and he returns to the main land to see his dauter.
then when we find him again he's on rykers island (a Prison in marvel comics, also if u have played the punisher game the last level of it) so it come to wonder if he broke out opf jail and went back to the mainland y is he back on an island jail (did he just go back so he could fall in the holelol) when u look it that way it is quite a dumb thought in the movie whoever though of that sceen needs a slap.
another thought is y did they give spidey an emo fringe. is that his source of power lol
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May/8/2007, 1:12 am
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Reaper089
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Re: spiderman 3: WARNING! these are my friends words, not mine. Swearing is involved
quote:
Metal Man wrote:
there were somethings i did find a bit dumb like for instance sand man he has escaped from jail and he returns to the main land to see his dauter.
then when we find him again he's on rykers island (a Prison in marvel comics, also if u have played the punisher game the last level of it) so it come to wonder if he broke out opf jail and went back to the mainland y is he back on an island jail (did he just go back so he could fall in the holelol) when u look it that way it is quite a dumb thought in the movie whoever though of that sceen needs a slap.
another thought is y did they give spidey an emo fringe. is that his source of power lol
he wasnt on rykers when he got turned into sandman
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May/9/2007, 7:22 am
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Metal Man
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Re: spiderman 3: WARNING! these are my friends words, not mine. Swearing is involved
then y was he getting chased by prison guards?
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May/10/2007, 12:02 am
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