Djjaines
Lovable Rogue Writer
Global user
Registered: 09-2005
Location: In me own head.
Posts: 672
Karma: 8 (+8/-0)
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
YOU MIGHT BE AN ER PHYSICIAN/NURSE IF.......
1 - you believe 90% of people are a poor excuse for protoplasm.
2 - discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
3 - you believe a good tape job will fix anything.
4 - you have the bladder capacity of five normal people.
5 - you can identify the positive teeth to tattoo ratio.
6 - your idea of a good time is a full arrest at shift change.
7 - you find humor in other people's stupidity.
8 - you believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
9 - you disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see.
10- you have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
11- when a patient presents with a list of medicine allergies you automatically assume they are a drug seeker or a patient of Dr. Solotkin.
12- your idea of comforting a child is to place them in a papoose restraint.
13- you encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA so you don't have to deal with them any longer.
14- you believe that "Shallow Gene Pool" should be a diagnosis.
15- you believe the govt should require a permit to reproduce.
16- you plan your dinner while performing gastric lavage.
17- you believe that "Ask-A-Nurse" is an evil plot thought up by Satan.
18- you believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if the phrase "Wow,it's really quiet" us uttered.
19- you refer to Friday as "Dump Day".
20- your diet consists of food that has undergone more processing than most computers.
21- you believe chocolate is a food group.
22- when someone calls you a Mastered, you take it as a compliment.
23- when you are out in public you compliment a complete stranger on their good veins.
24- you have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".
25- you don't think a referral to Dr. Kevorkian is inappropriate.
26- you have ever referred to someones death as a "Celestial Discharge".
27- you have ever answered a "lost condom" phone call (See "Ask-A-Nurse" above.)
28- you refer to someone in respiratory distress as a "Smurf".
29- your idea of a really good time is Duelling Shock Rooms.
30- you have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide... Getting it right".
31- you believe that "Too Stupid to Live" should be a diagnosis.
32- you have ever had to leave a patients room before you began laughing uncontrollably.
This piece of prose was aquired from HERE!!!!
Last edited by Djjaines, 3/29/2006, 12:07 pm
---
Daniel: Master of malapropisms and Danisms.
Danism: Using stupid sounding or vague descriptions to put what may be an intellectual point across.
Beatrice: You really put the "W" in anchorman don't you?
|
|
3/29/2006, 11:53 am
|
Send Email to Djjaines
Send PM to Djjaines
AIM
MSN
|
stripycardy
Registered user
Global user
Registered: 11-2005
Location: Nordlant
Posts: 950
Karma: 10 (+10/-0)
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: YOU MIGHT BE AN ER PHYSICIAN/NURSE IF.......
lol. Some of those I particularly liked, but i'm far too lazy to quote them. 
---
"You can fly through the stars just listening to music."- Ronny Tegner
|
|
3/30/2006, 6:34 pm
|
Send Email to stripycardy
Send PM to stripycardy
Yahoo
|