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MotherMoonGoddess
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Life's Little Surprises!
And the adventure begins:
A couple of months ago my husband noticed a very small white streak on my labia minora. At the time, he didn't give it much thought thinking it was just a skin irritation and that it would go away. However, a few weeks ago he saw that the streak had grown excessively and was now the size of a quarter. Of course, the first thing he did was mention it to me. Since I had had nothing out of the ordinary occur that would have alerted me of a problem, it was news to me. At the time I wasn't really concerned about it, but I happened to be going to see my Family Doctor in a few days so I decided to mention it to her while I was there. Of course, she took a look-see and within a minute of seeing it told me that she was sending me to a GYN. I asked her what she thought it could be and she immediately said Cancer. Of course, Doctor's always think Cancer when they see anything unusual so, there again, I wasn't concerned. However, being the good girl that I am, I made the appointment with the GYN. After a brief talk with the GYN, it was time for the unveiling. We then preceded to go to his examining room where I assumed the position so that he could get a look at my spot. I never expected what happened next. He barely glanced at it before he requested that his Nurse gather the items that he needed to perform a biopsy. He then began to explain the procedure to me. The first thing he was going to do is numb the area where he would take the sample. He said that the shot would feel like an ant bite. No biggie, I could deal with that. However, he then concluded with the words "a fire ant that is". Great, fantastic!! My whohaw was going to feel like it had been bitten by a fire ant. Oh joy! The next step was going to be even more fun. He was going to use what I can only describe as a spring action miniature pair of hedge clippers to retrieve his sample. Talk about pinching an inch. I ended up having a pencil eraser size plug removed from my vaginal lip. If it had been any deeper I could have put an earring through it. He had already made the comment that the spot was not normal so after he was done with the biopsy I asked him what he meant. His exact words were that there was nothing normal about the spot, not the size, the shape, the color or the thickness. I will never ask what a Doctor means by "not normal" ever again.
After I got home from the GYN I decided to do a little research concerning white ulcers/lesions on the labia minora. The one thing that was a constant in my search results was Vulvar Cancer. No matter what I put in as my search parameters, this is what kept popping up. I started reading, the more I read, the more I realized that I was reading about me. You know where I said that nothing out of the ordinary had occurred that would have alerted me of a problem? I was wrong. One of the symptoms of Vulvar Cancer, besides a big white, thick, bumpy, rough patch, is an itch in the area that doesn't go away. Guess what? Yep, you have it. It started before Christmas. Another winner, burning, pain and tenderness. I thought it was a by-product of Menopause and the dryness that comes with that delightful stage of a woman's life. I was wrong again. The only one of the five symptoms I am not experiencing is bleeding not related to a menstrual period. Just my luck, the one symptom that would have let me know big time that something was wrong, didn't happen. I haven't experienced a menstrual cycle in over 20 years so 0 periods + Vaginal Bleeding would have = Oh Crap! As for my final total in symptoms, I would have preferred to have 4 out of 5 lottery numbers, thank-you very much!
I had my biopsy done, Monday May 11 and still have 3 days to wait for my results. So, what do you do when you have time to kill and screaming is not an option? Easy, you discuss a variety of related topics with your family.
A) The Positive Side of Chemotherapy:
Hair Loss:
1) The freedom from worry of having a bad hair day
2) Finally losing the annoying chin and neck hairs that cropped up because your hormones are going haywire. Added benefit: Not having to pay for laser treatment to remove said pesky hairs
3) Being as smooth as a baby's bottom - all over
4) Grey hair got you down? No worries, be happy!! It will soon be a thing of the past.
5) Eyebrows: chuck those tweezers out the window...the time of torture is over
6) Hats, scarfs and turbans, Oh my! You can get one for every occasion.
Weight Loss:
1) No exercising required
2) No special diets needed
3) Eat what you want because it will all come back out one way or the other
B) Miscellaneous Topics:
1) Bad Grave Stone Epitaph:
I Survived Cancer
2) Bad Attire For Burial:
I Survived Cancer T-Shirt!
3) Bad Gift Idea For Someone Who Just Had A Radical Vulvectomy:
Wax lips to replace the ones they lost.
C) If The Worst Should Happen:
Last Requests Rejected By My Husband:
1) That my cremains be placed in a pickle jar then buried in our pet cemetery.
2) That I be dressed up for the holidays (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc) by placing my cremains in a holiday themed goody bag.
I'm not going to lie, I am scared to death about what I am going to be told when I go to hear my results. However, being able to keep a sense of humor about this is one of the things that is going to help me to deal.
One last thing before I go: Vulvar Cancer is considered a rare condition and accounts for no more than 1% of Gynecological Cancers. I made the comment to my husband that I never was one to follow the crowd so possibly having a rare form of Cancer was quite appropriate for me. His reply? Yeah, you couldn't have something normal like breast cancer, oh no, you had to be different!! 
With That I Bid You Adieu!
Julia
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5/24/2009, 9:26 am
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TheRyusui
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Re: Life's Little Surprises!
Phew. Sorry to hear that. I hope your results come back with good news.
--- In all your journeys, have you seen the land beyond the mountains green?
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5/24/2009, 12:43 pm
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MrBear
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Re: Life's Little Surprises!
Not good at all...
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5/24/2009, 1:10 pm
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millienorwood
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Re: Life's Little Surprises!
oh Julia, i hope that whatever the outcome of this that you go through it all with your sense of humour intact. All my best wishes to you and your family
Charissa
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5/24/2009, 8:58 pm
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Sakura8
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Re: Life's Little Surprises!
quote:
MotherMoonGoddess wrote:
Oh Crap!
Naughty, naughty!goodluck I hope you get good news.
Sakura
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Sakura by name, Sakura by nature?
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5/25/2009, 2:44 am
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duckpuddle
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Re: Life's Little Surprises!
I hope you do hear good news...
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5/25/2009, 4:32 am
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MotherMoonGoddess
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Re: Life's Little Surprises!
Thank-you all for your good wishes.  I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that I am given good news when I see the gynecologist on Wednesday. However, if it turns out that it is Cancer I will do what I have to do in order to take care of it. Either way, I will at least finally know what I am dealing with. That, above all else, has been the hardest part of the waiting. The not knowing. Most days I have had no problems keeping things in check, but there have been moments when the fear did take over. Under the circumstances, I think anyone would react the same way.
Two more days and counting:
Julia
PS: Sakura, you are quite right that I was naughty, naughty for using a bad word. I do apologize for that. I sometimes forget that there are little ones on this board so thank-you for the reminder.
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5/25/2009, 8:12 am
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Kiwidelight
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Re: Life's Little Surprises!
Welcome to the "One Day at a Time" club MotherMoonGoddess! The good news is that it sounds like you have caught it quite early and in that case it is highly curable!
Now you get to REALLY GET how lucky you are to be alive and have good health in other areas of your life. This is a gift so you can now live the rest of your life conscious and in gratitude.
Tell everyone you know you love them. Send out the positive and it will come back to you ten fold. Attitude is everything and will do more to help you to wellness than any surgery, drug or radiation can achieve.
I am witness that there is life after "the worst that could possibly happen". When I first needed a traceostomy to breathe and then lost the ability to speak - given the choice I would rather have been dead! The thought of never being able to whistle, sing, scream, giggle, laugh, gargle, spit, whisper etc etc etc just seemed unbearable to me. Now it all seems a small price to pay for a LARGE life.
Here is my two cents worth. I spent too many hours, days, weeks, years of my life waiting to get sicker and or die! Now I have learned not to worry. I leave that to the doctors and God - and mostly I get that they don't waste their time worrying either. They just do what needs to be done so that you get to have a great life.
I no longer live a "one day - some day" kinda life. Life is for living NOW not when the weather is right, or you feel like it or the money comes!
Take yours on powerfully, give it a good shake and have the best life you can possibly create.
AND be gentle and patient with yourself. Feel what you feel. Say what you think and need.
Thanks so much for having the courage to share. You are a miracle!
My favourite quote for times like these . .
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow's a mystery.
Today is the gift
and that is why they call it THE PRESENT!
And if you really get that you won't complain about the wrapping!
Holding you in loving arms! KD
Last edited by Kiwidelight, 5/25/2009, 6:38 pm
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5/25/2009, 4:58 pm
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5hauna
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Re: Life's Little Surprises!
Wow, what a fantastic attitude to take! Im sure that under all your humour and horror you are terrified and anxious, but what a great way to get it out...Hardly the usual topic for standing in line at the PO, however by writing it down a sharing with others you have no doubt exorcised some of your demons and Im sure everyone who reads you post will be thinking of you. Also a wee reminder to all of us that we must always be vigilant as the 1 in 100 illnesses seem to strike those special 1 in 100 people.
Take care. Shauna
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5/25/2009, 6:27 pm
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MotherMoonGoddess
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Re: Life's Little Surprises!
Kiwi,
Thank-you for taking the time to respond to my post. Truer words were never spoken and they have been taken to heart. I admire your bravery in dealing with your condition and really appreciate you sharing your story with me. It is proof that even when the worst happens that life can and does go on. I do not under any circumstances intend to let this rule my life. I would be foolish if I did. I have always tried to face any problems I have encountered in life head on. This is no different. It is just another bump in the road.
Shauna,
I find that writing helps calm my nerves when I am really stressed about something. My writings tend to be a bit on the humorous side as I truly feel, as the saying goes, that laughter really is the very best medicine.  I debated about whether or not to post this on here, but was hoping that by sharing my story that others would be made aware of this particular form of Cancer. I had never heard of it until I did the research on the internet. Although it is considered rare and usually affects menopausal women over 50, there has been an increase in cases in women 40 and younger. I am 48 myself.
Julia
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5/25/2009, 11:44 pm
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