This board is multifaceted, crossing various topics from New Age, spirituality, metaphysical, psychology, physical issues, relationships, emotions, self-help and more. It is created for those who seek change and desire to empower themselves, to live life as an expression of who they really are in unconditional love. If you think/feel that your life and this world full of denial, fear and unlovingness is totally opposite what you desire, it is no coincidence that you are here.
To say that this board will be controversial is an understatement as it goes against almost everything society presently believes to be true about emotions, feelings, life and love. But then why wouldn't it be controversial if the desire and goal is the opposite of what is presently being experienced! To empower yourself, you need to be open to challenge everything you believe to be true, especially about love, life, emotions and feelings and also be willing to end your denials of self.
I openly share the knowledge, tools, messages and insights that I've gained through sixteen years of intensive personal experience and in working with others on their journey. Feel free to visit the various forums and posts and to also add your personal experiences, comments and questions. It is my intent that the ideas and works that will be discussed within this forum will not only expand your consciousness, but also activate your emotions and touch your heart.
In love, light and life,
John Rieger aka Shenreed| My Profile | |My Manuscript | |Saysame | | My Blogs | | THC - Tribe | | shenreed---at---yahoo.com |
The Heart Centre
103 - Conditional Love
Self-Blame (Self-Hatred)
shenreed
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Registered: 01-2004
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Reply | Quote Self-Blame (Self-Hatred)
Hi everyone,
When we face something terrifying over which we have no control, we have to create some method of control so that we can survive the experience. How we create a sense of control depends on our imprints, programs and beliefs and how we have been living our life. And don't forget that many of these are not even in our conscious awareness.
To give you an example, say there's this man who is used to being in control, in charge of his life, his wife, family, friends, work, etc. He may be controling in a "nice" and giving, doing and so-called loving way or he may be a dictator. What he has also done unconsciuosly is taken on the personal responsibilty of having to be IN CONTROL, because not being in control is unacceptable to him.
Now say he becomes terminally ill. He's in shock, terrified, and looking for reasons why this happened to him. He can look at all the external reasons but he's forced to not accept any of them. Why? Because if he were to admit that the sicknesss is beyond his control, that would mean that he's not in control. He's terrified of that because that reminds him of another time and the pain of an experience when he wasn't in control which is still unresolved.
So now the problem is who or what is he going to blame? He can't blame the doctors, medicine, the environment, his wife or friends, the house, car or cat, nothing, not even God as that would also mean that God has power over him. So what's left? Yep, you got it, himself! That's who he blames as that's the only way he still has a sense of being in control.
Self-Blame is the only way one is able to create a sense, an illusion of being in control when what they're actually feeling is anything but. Now ponder that statement for a moment and think of all its ramifactions. Think of all the things over which you feel powerless and helpless and how you also feel that you are no good, unworthy, unloveable and that something is wrong with you, and the list goes on and on.
Self-blame is Self-hatred exposed.
Now the issue is to find, who, what, where, and when and how this self-blame imprint, program and belief was put in place? To get out of the cycle of self-hatred and unlovingness we have to find the root, the cause and heal begin to heal it from the inside out.
To begin to find your self-hatred, list all the things that you don't like about yourself. Next, begin to list all the things that you need to be in control of. In the process of doing that focus on what you would feel if you weren't in conrol. Scary isn't it and that's only the tip of the iceberg.
Self-Blame was the only was we could cope and survive, but that was in denial. Self-love is how we are going to heal these lost parts of ourselves and how we will live in the future.
Love, Light, and Life,
John
Last edited by shenreed, 29/Nov/2004, 4:57 pm
27/Nov/2004, 5:01 pm Send Email to shenreed Send PM to shenreed Yahoo Blog
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