theheartcentre
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501-02 In the Moment, the NOW (without DENIAL) :)
Hi Everyone,
There is no force greater than unconditional love, self-love. Your true point of power is when you are present in the moment, the now, AND without denial. You are clear, focused and aware, not only of your thoughts and feelings but also aware of the thoughts and feelings of those around you, whether they are in denial or not. Those in denial have rules and conditions that they need to live by, and that they try to get other to live by, but being in the moment with unconditional love and no denial means that you have no rules or conditions, that you have to uphold. There is no fog, or confusion, only truth and love that sees denial for what it is, unloving and conditional love. When you are in the moment, you are fearless, as what is there to fear if you know and express your truth without denial. It is only denial of self, giving yourself conditional love that sabotages the moment and robs us of our true power.
Love, Light and Life
John Rieger/Shenreed
"Healing begins in the Heart"
To heal, you must feel, and to feel, you must be real
Last edited by theheartcentre, 12/Jun/2003, 10:29 am
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10/Jun/2003, 3:48 pm
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anarchist1
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Re: 501-02 In the Moment, the NOW (without DENIAL) :)
Here's something I posted in another forum that I thought was relevant.
There is no end to the depth of relaxation. Look at every little thing that causes tension to build in you. Be like a detective! Nit-pick into every little quirk and fluctuation of how you feel in every single moment. Then decide if this is how you want to feel. If not, decide exactly how you do want to feel and substitute that instead.
There is no generic set of steps to follow in how to feel relaxed about something. That varies according to how you want to feel. There are a million shades of relaxation. There's gentle humour. There's adoration of a child. There's awe, gratitude, self-assuradness. A million shades and hues.
The only secret is that you already know how to relax. All you need to do is form a clear idea of exactly how you want to feel. It's not enough to say you don't want to feel tension and worry. Those are negative definitions. It's not enough to say you want to feel relaxed. That's a very abstract label for something very intricate in its meaning.
What type of relaxed do you want to feel? There are millions of different kinds of relaxation. There are six billion different methods of attaining each one! This is not something a twelve step program can teach! Not unless you change yourself to adapt to the program. Only you know what it means to be truly relaxed. You have your own unique definition.
If you're someone who's always tense, start nit-picking. Pay constant attention to how you feel. Don't psycho-analyze it and start digging into your past and trying to figure out its root cause. It doesn't matter if you have an issue with authority because your father bought you a wagon instead of a tricycle when you were five. All you need to do is realize it's there. Then have a very clear idea of what you want to replace it with. That's it.
Are you tense because you're in a hurry to finish reading this article? Here's a little thing I like doing to demonstrate how subtle tension can be.
Three blind mice.
Three blind mice.
Three blind mice.
Three blind mice.
Three blind mice.
Now, read this line five times:
Three blind mice.
Did you read it five times or did you skip on ahead? Why? Are you in a hurry? Are you short on time? Even if you are, do you cut your time so fine as to consider an extra four lines, an extra twelve words to be significant?
If you're extremely tense you have to figuratively douse yourself with a bucket of cold water every chance you get. You have to constantly get on your own case. You have to constantly ask yourself "How do I want to feel right now?"
It's not hard. The length and number of articles and books about relaxation probably make you believe it's hard. Don't let that mislead you! This is only testimony to how important it is and how complicated YOU have made it. Not how difficult it is in actuality.
Maybe you're tense because you're wondering which method is the fastest. You're iffy about commiting yourself to one because there might be a faster one you're missing out on. Listen to me. You already know the method. All you need is decisiveness and commitment. Decisiveness on exactly what it is you want to feel and commitment to weeding out all your little tensions and replacing them with relaxation, whatever you define it to be.
As for doing it quickly, your job is to be relaxed now! Eventually relaxation will be second nature. It'll be a background emotion that you feel all the time. It'll become deeper and more subtle untill it's reflected in your every mannerism. You will emenate a feeling of ease to other people. But that is not your concern. That is a secondary result of being relaxed now! That is all you need concern yourself with.
Are you drumming your fingers and waiting for a webpage to load? Are you angry with the person ahead of you in a line-up who's paying for their groceries with a fistfull of nickels and dimes? Are you standing next to the microwave tapping your foot while dinner cooks? Do you feel guilty for not doing anything on your day off? Scrutinize all your little tensions. Do it every single time the thought crosses your mind. Then decide how you would rather feel.
At first you'll do it hesitantly. You'll have a sneaking suspicion that you're letting yourself get played for a sucker. How could you NOT resent being at work performing a job that is tedious and boring? And they're only paying you minimum wage too!
You think negativity pays for something. If you feel negative in advance then the negative situation won't happen. NAAA! WRONG! You're still working at that dead-end job. Aren't you? So there's proof. Negativity pays for nothing. Transformation of your outer situation requires action. I'm talking about inner transformation.
After you get past that initial resistance you'll start feeling a weird but pleasant sense of autonomy and freedom. You'll develop more fine-grained control of your mind. You are seperating your inner experience from the tangled knot you've formed between your inner and outer situations. You're developing the dexterity (and maturity) to operate each independantly of the other. It becomes fun after a while. You are delving into a new type of freedom. You are getting better at it. You whittle away the hours at your job without a care in the world. When you come home you don't collapse on the couch. You are relaxed and at peace. All is well with the world and you are ready to spend time with your family.
Stop turning life into a never-ending attack! Stop pointing fingers, middle finger or otherwise. Take responsibility for yourself! That's not a rebuke. That is an attempt to shake you from your comfort zone. When you first start learning how to relax you'll find that you are constantly having to give yourself a series of "little rebukes" anyway. Little slaps to your ego that almost hurt but whos only purpose is to wake you up.
The guilt and shame you might feel is not necessary in and of itself. There is nothing for you to feel guilt and shame over. But you can still use them if you feel them. Use them as a reminder that you have not yet fully mastered your mind. Otherwise you would not feel guilt and shame. Replace it with what you want to feel. That's it. Start right now.
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11/Jan/2004, 10:18 am
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theheartcentre
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 Re: 501-02 In the Moment, the NOW (without DENIAL) :)
Hi Anarchist1,
In your first post under (501-05 “Letting go”) part of your opening comments were “What are we replacing the illusions with? What are we looking past the illusions to see?” I can see why you’re confused if you’re living your life according to what you've just posted here, which by the way is a good example of the denial I’m talking about. I’m not picking on you but simply challenging your thoughts and beliefs. This board is about ending our denials, not perpetuating them. This is why there is confusion because as long as we are just replacing one denial based (illusion) with another we are going around in circles.
I picked out the following five denial based comments from your post and am interested in your comments.
1. Decide exactly how you do want to feel and substitute that instead.
2. All you need to do is form a clear idea of exactly how you want to feel.
3. Pay constant attention to how you feel. Don't psycho-analyze it and start digging into your past and trying to figure out its root cause.
4. Decisiveness on exactly what it is you want to feel and commitment to weeding out all your little tensions and replacing them with relaxation,
5. You'll develop more fine-grained control of your mind. You are seperating your inner experience from the tangled knot you've formed between your inner and outer
situations.
Cheers,
Shenreed
---
"Healing begins in the Heart"
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12/Jan/2004, 2:10 am
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anarchist1
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Re: 501-02 In the Moment, the NOW (without DENIAL) :)
When I was talking to your earlier in the thread called Letting Go, I was speaking in terms of Christ Conciousness. Christ said "Why are you so amazed? This shall you also do." in regards to miracles. I meant ultimately letting go. Undoing the ego. Ending the illusion of death and rebirth. I was talking about waking up to ultimate reality.
But this is about learning to relax. You might call it an intermediate step, not complete in and of itself. But certainly not denying anything either. Let me put them in context.
1. Decide exactly how you do want to feel and substitute that instead.
You have control over your emotions all the time. If something in your outer world is causing you stress then the only three options you have are to change it, accept it (for the time being) or walk away. That's it. Even if you decide to change your situation it takes time, during which you can accept or complain. Even if you decide to walk away you still have the option of harbouring resentment and nonforgiveness about it. Those don't help you in any way, shape or form. Negativity draws on your vitality and your enthusiasm for life. That's not denial but a fact. I'm not saying to pretend a situation doesn't exist. I'm saying you don't have to let it disturb you. Deal with it with a calm mind. Accept your mistakes with grace.
2. All you need to do is form a clear idea of exactly how you want to feel.
It takes practice. I for example hate my job. I used to dread going to work. I used to hate being there. I stared at the clock constantly which made it seem even longer. But at the end of a shift I would feel disapointed with myself. The shift was over and I still didn't feel elated. Because I had allowed a major portion of my day NOT to be enjoyable. Why deny myself of that portion as well? So I decided to take pride in managing to deal with each customer. This wasn't a job that was for everyone. Some people quit on the first day, sometimes in tears! That didn't mean I decided to become some type of corporate brown-nose. That doesn't mean I'm not looking for a different job and that I've just given up. But I've taken responsibility for how I feel at work. And I come home as relaxed as if it had been my day off.
3. Pay constant attention to how you feel. Don't psycho-analyze it and start digging into your past and trying to figure out its root cause.
Some people make a favorite past-time out of this. I find that when I psycho-analyze my frustrations and start dwelling on what caused them it just perpetuates the feelings I have. It's a chance to refine my victim story in greater detail. But it's good to question how you are feeling all the time. That's because tension has become integrated into everything you do. It's good to spot it in the present moment and transmute it into something you want to feel. You are not denying any situation by doing this. You accept that it's there but you can respond to it from a positive state of mind rather than a negative state. You can even laugh at yourself.
4. Decisiveness on exactly what it is you want to feel and commitment to weeding out all your little tensions and replacing them with relaxation.
Decisiveness because you have to know what you want to feel, not simply what you don't want to feel. The same applies on a larger scale. It's easy to be against something. But that's useless. It's ony when you are for something that you have viable alternatives to a situation you want to change. A positive state of mind is more conductve to constructive action rather than retaliation to something. Even if you are being physically attacked, a cool head and a sharp mind is better than rage. It takes commitment because negative emotions perpetuate themselves. You have to constantly turn your back on the whining, angry, complaining, victimized self. It has to be denied. If you cannot imagine yourself doing this, then imagine someone else doing it. Someone looking at you in all your outrage and shaking their head. not because they are condemning you but because you are capable of better. It takes commitment because negativity is so alluring.
5. You'll develop more fine-grained control of your mind. You are seperating your inner experience from the tangled knot you've formed between your inner and outer
situations.
That's simply maturity. When you are a child and someone throws a snowball at you, you fly into a blind rage. Now it makes you laugh. When you were building something out of blocks and it all fell apart you started throwing things around. That seems childish now, but what about when your adult plans come tumbling down? Do you calmly build them back up again? It's not denial that a snowball was thrown at you or that what you worked so hard on just came tumbling down. It's how you choose to feel, which determines how you will respond.
I don't think there's a limit to this. Not that "negative" situations will always make you laugh, but you will move through them in peace when once they would have thrown you into rage.
Think about people who take themselves too seriously. No-one likes these easily-offended people and they don't get the respect they think they deserve. Fear maybe, but not respect. It's when they have a good laugh at themselves that other people start to respect them. People are intuitive and they more or less know how you really feel. They do see it in your mannerisms. They do see it in your tone. In all kinds of subtle ways. So you can't fake it. You have to truly be at peace. And that comes from practice. From transmuting every little intricate negativity you feel at the moment you feel it, which means paying constant attention to yourself. Not in an apprehensive and judgemental way but in a nurturing way. You are removing negativities. Not adding onto them through guilt and self condemnation. You are doing a good thing for yourself.
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12/Jan/2004, 8:49 am
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theheartcentre
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Re: 501-02 In the Moment, the NOW (without DENIAL) :)
Hi anarchist1,
Christ consciousness wasn’t even mentioned in my original post 501-05 “Letting Go” and you never mentioned it in any of yours until this last one and even in your last post, you basically said nothing about it except to make reference that was what you meant in your original post. Also your questions in your original post do not reflect what you are now saying they are about. What you’re not saying is that you would like us to mind read what your thoughts and intent are. Of course, like you did, you can then deny or say that we misread or misinterpreted you whenever anything we say conflicts with your hidden agenda.
It’s interesting, but not unusual that you suggest that Christ consciousness and waking up to ultimate reality has nothing to do with learning to relax, because what is the ultimate goal of learning to relax? That comment implies that you have no personal inter-connection or association with either topic and that therefore, you have one set of rules and BS (Belief System) for one topic and another set for another topic. Of course, you will deny that’s what you said or meant and we are back to the same merry–go–round.
Also in your, putting it into context, or justification of learning to relax, you refused to admit that there is any form of denial present. So either you’re confused, ignorant and in denial and find it hard to express yourself, or your intent is unloving and you are here to create confusion by denial. I don’t really care or rather; I have no attachment to which way it is as I have acceptance for both. If you’re here because you want to end your confusion and ignorance by ending your denials, I can help you help yourself. If your intent here is unloving, I have acceptance for that too. That doesn’t mean that I accept whatever you say as truth and deny my truth, space and time. It simply means that I have acceptance that you have the right to say what you feel is your truth, and if you feel you need to do that on this board, at this time, so be it, I can make a “right place” here for you where you will be able express yourself too.
Shenreed
“Healing begins in the Heart”
PS: If you can’t see “denial” for what it is then you can’t see the tree for the forest.
---
"Healing begins in the Heart"
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13/Jan/2004, 4:46 pm
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anarchist1
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Re: 501-02 In the Moment, the NOW (without DENIAL) :)
I believe I am ignorant on quite a few things when it comes to spiritual growth. That's why I frequent forums like these, study, and try to improve myself in the way I deal with other people. But I most definitely do not have a "hidden agenda" or "unloving" intent. I was trying to share my understandings as best I know how. Let me try to explain what I am looking for without taking everyone on a merry-go-round or expecting people to read my mind.
Enlightenment. Christ Conciousness. In the "Letting Go" thread I asked if ending the illusions meant learning to speak to God or if it had anything to do with developing one's psychic senses. These are things I associate with enlightenment. It's a very ambigious word to me, and the idea is more than a little intimidating because of that. I've read dozens of books and hundreds of articles about it. It's described as the letting go of illusions, including the illusion of the physical world. Realizing and truly understanding experientially what is meant by the common statement that we are all one. Having direct communion with God. This, if you will, is my so-called "hidden agenda." No, I don't understand all the personal change and growth this entails. I don't know exactly what it is like. This is why I am asking about it, and sharing what I do understand as best I can.
You clarified what you meant when you said "the illusion that I’m talking about is all the imprints, programs and beliefs that we have about the world, life and love". And I do consider this a part of becomming enlightened. I did call it an "intermediate step." Jesus taught unconditional love and forgiveness. He taught faith in God. He taught us not to be anxious. I am trying to tackle all my doubts and anxieties and nonforgiveness. I've shared the way I've been trying to do this; by taking control of my thoughts and emotions. Even when confronting these made me feel ashamed, or "rebuked" or "slapped".
But there have been and there are people in this world who can heal the sick. Who can be perfectly at peace in the face of anything. Who speak with God. I don't want to join some religious group and follow a doctrine or "BS" (the two-fold meaning of this little acronym is not lost on me) I want to find my own personal validation in the existence of a Creator. I don't want to just read about the experiences of others who have done so. I want this because what else, really, is there? This is what I hope to attain through enlightenment (a word I use interchangably with Christ Conciousness). This is what I want, being as unambigious as possible. Avoiding the "merry-go-round." as best I can, which I believe is a little attempted "mind reading" on your part.
But I've tried as best I could to explain myself and clarify what I've said. Where is the denial? Surely there are other people who think along the same lines as me. I will listen to what you have to say with an open mind. You've offered to help me help myself, but that doesn't mean I'll automatically accept what you say. If what I've posted is filled with denail then it is misleading to people who come here and read it. Something I don't want to happen. So please explain where the denial is. I don't want to get in a long debate over it. But it is something I would like to have clarified and out of the way.
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13/Jan/2004, 10:27 pm
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theheartcentre
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Re: 501-02 In the Moment, the NOW (without DENIAL) :)
Hi Anarchist1,
Thank you for what I consider your first REAL post as I felt your sincerity and genuineness.
It’s not about trying to improve the way you deal with other people, because that’s still the Old World Mentality and belief system. Enlightenment in part, is about the way you deal with yourself. Being a Christian or any other religion is also falling into the same old BS, as every religion has, as part of it’s doctrine, a belief, commandment or rule stating that how you treat your neighbor is more important that how you treat yourself. Self-hatred or self-sacrifice is not self-love even if it is done in the name of, or out of love. (Read the piece I wrote in announcement under (about this community)
What you posted is just right and is what you needed to say and what others need to read. When people can see anothers struggle with similar issues or beliefs, they learn by what I call osmosis, because it’s easier to see someone else’s problems than their own. They don’t feel as vulnerable or feel they are being attacked or whatever. They still have to deal with their personal issues, but they will have the “tools” and insights as to what they are looking for. It’s takes courage and dedication to do what you are doing and I applaud you. I’m not going to go into all the issues of denial as I feel there is a lot of material here that I’ve already given that will help you. If you have questions, I’ll try to help fill in the missing pieces as best I can.
In love, light and Life,
Shenreed
“Healing begins in the Heart”
---
"Healing begins in the Heart"
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14/Jan/2004, 12:22 am
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anarchist1
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Re: 501-02 In the Moment, the NOW (without DENIAL) :)
ah, my first REAL post. but without a REAL answer. You've challenged my beliefs and I've elaborated on them gladly. You still say I am refusing to admit that they are full of denial, although I don't recall anything in them about "self-hatred" but self-improvement. But when I ask YOU to clarify what you say, your response is more or less read the forum. This forum is pretty diverse, but read it I will. In the meantime though you should be ready to explain YOURself whenever you critique a post. Opinions by themselves are useless.
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14/Jan/2004, 4:03 pm
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theheartcentre
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Re: 501-02 In the Moment, the NOW (without DENIAL) :)
Hi Ararchist1,
Denial is any avoidance, rejection, refusal, omission by intent, lying, limit, manipulation, condition and controls that you enforce on ANY part of you. By ANY I mean ANY PART OF YOUR BEING, your Mind, (Intellect) Will, (intuition, feelings, emotions), Body and Heart. If you prefer one part of you to another, you are not loving to that part of you that you deny and hence the self-hatred. There is no such thing as a little denial or an innocent denial that is OK or justified if it’s unconditional love that you are seeking.
I often use the analogue of pregnant is pregnant, you are not just a little pregnant, you either are or you’re not and the same goes for denial. Now there is blatant denial that is obvious but it is the subtle ones that are harder to grasp and these are mainly buried in our imprints, programs & beliefs. You have to have the obvious denials hit you on the head before you can see or feel the subtle ones. That is why I suggested you read some of the posts here to get an idea of what denial is so that you can begin to recognize it in yourself & others. I’m not being vague, but to enter into details with you now, I’d only be repeating what I’ve already written. You might want to check out conditional love for starters.
Peace
Shenreed
---
"Healing begins in the Heart"
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14/Jan/2004, 10:59 pm
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anarchist1
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Re: 501-02 In the Moment, the NOW (without DENIAL) :)
So far I've read everything down to "Earth Changes. Let me go through the points you raised and see if I understand what you're saying.
1. Decide exactly how you do want to feel and substitute that instead.
This is repression of ones emotions, continued fragmentation, non-acceptance of the inner child. Release negativity by expressing it.
2. All you need to do is form a clear idea of exactly how you want to feel.
Be who you are. The peace you want to feel comes from acceptance of all parts of you.
3. Pay constant attention to how you feel. Don't psycho-analyze it and start digging into your past and trying to figure out its root cause.
When I think about certain events in my past it just increases my negativity. But these are locked up emotions. Thinking about these past events doesn't cause negativity, the negativity was already there beneath my concious awareness.
4. Decisiveness on exactly what it is you want to feel and commitment to weeding out all your little tensions and replacing them with relaxation
This is denial of what is currently there. Nonacceptance of what you are. Trying to control what you think you should ideally be rather than letting yourself be what you are.
5. You'll develop more fine-grained control of your mind. You are seperating your inner experience from the tangled knot you've formed between your inner and outer
situations.
Developing more fine-grained control of ones mind for the purpose of controlling emotions is more of the same as above. As for the second part, it sounds like something you have done. An outer situation (being exposed to a knife) brought forth your phobia. You allowed it to have full expression. The next time you were exposed to a knife, you were more able to handle it without the phobias kicking in. You succeeded in changing the way you responded on the inside to an outward situation. But again, this was through acceptance and expression rather than trying to replace it with something else.
so...
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18/Jan/2004, 10:53 pm
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theheartcentre
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Re: 501-02 In the Moment, the NOW (without DENIAL) :)
Hi,
All my life I tried I tried hard at being the master of my emotions and while on the surface I “seemed“ cool, calm and collected, beneath the façade I was in constant terror and anxiety. Take the knife experience for example (Post 408-02). I was able to CONTROL my fear of knives by avoiding any situation where knives might be an issue. This got so imprinted and programmed in me that I wasn’t even conscious anymore that I was afraid of knives UNTIL one would appear and I’d be activated. It took a lot of conscious intent and emotional healing on many levels and with many issues over a period of time to get me to the point that I could deal with the knife issue. To where I finally had enough conscious awareness not to run, fight, or give up, but rather to allow myself to go deeper than I had ever gone before and touch emotions and physical sensations I had long since repressed and forgotten.
By emotional expression I want to make it clear that I’m not talking about the FALSE EMOTIONS that first came up and told me that it was my friend who was holding the pearing knife that was to blame for my panic and that she was a threat to my safety. This is the MAJOR stumbling block, where people get confused with the belief that they are expressing their emotions and being in the moment if the react and express their first emotions and feelings. You already have denied terror otherwise your panic wouldn’t be activated. This is where and when you need to have conscious awareness that you have to go beneath the surface FALSE FEELINGS and EMOTIONS to find the REAL cause and REAL FEELINGS and EMOTIONS that the present experience triggered.
Once I gave them (my emotions and body) conscious acceptance and allowed them expression (IN THE MOMENT) that they were happening, I made a shift. Later, the universe sent me a “so-called” test to see if I would fall back to denying my emotional expression again when it came to knives. During that next knife experience with the woman with the hunting knife, I again had conscious awareness and I also allowed myself full emotional expression and again it was a healing experience. So, this type of emotional and physical healing isn’t what is currently being promoted and practiced. It’s not about setting your mind on a goal to alter your beliefs or treating the symptoms and False Emotions by denying the REAL cause. What I'm sharing here is how to HEAL the CAUSE and that can only be accomplished by ending denials.
Shenreed
PS; Since my (non-denial) healing experience, knives no longer strike terror and panic in me. I have awareness of them, but the charge is gone.
Last edited by theheartcentre, 19/Jan/2004, 10:32 am
---
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19/Jan/2004, 1:49 am
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