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shenreed
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
jannokas
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Posts: 131
(1/6/07 10:43 pm)
Reply happy 
Thank you for confirming the possibility of a healing, because i am in a dire need of it!
When i think about that kind of suffering such as - can't believe this unloving event is happening to me - it just makes me so sad, because i know that there are situations that are so traumatizing and it's so hard to understand what is happening and why and so you try to pretend that nothing has happened, because you don't want to loose credibility amongst other people...it's such a pain. Feelings can be so downright extreme and complicated.
Thank you for your current observations. It will take me some time to immerse in them. At the moment i agree with everything you've said. My healing intent is probably quite weak. If you want to know then i'm not sure what this healing is all about and where it all goes. I know that i can trust you though.
I will now say to myself repeatedly - i choose to release control of my feelings and let them flow naturally! That makes for an excellent affirmation!
Interestingly i have indeed mixed up 2 separate 'things' - 1)healing pain, which was caused at some time and denied and has resurfaced, 2)trying to prevent pain from re-occurring - but not denying any feelings all the while.
I would not have noticed any of this without your help. I'm now tearing up from thankfulness...really! Wonderful real tears!
Janno - "One Big Heart is a loving combination of many smaller ones working together."
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12/Jan/2007, 11:44 pm
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
jannokas
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(1/6/07 10:49 pm)
Reply About the illusions of life...
I would like to just briefly look back at the original theme we had and ask you - are illusions bad?
Say believeing that you have a loving Earth family (which is what you imagine to be so when you're born into a group of souls)...is it necessarily an illusion in a sense that 'have to tear it down and see what it really is by separating yourself from them and rebelling against them and not trusting them' (reject this feeling of comfort it offers and look at it as though it were a sin) or is it wiser to just let it be and not break it apart or perhaps not even look into it?
You know what i'm trying to ask you? Are illusions ok? Or are they meant to be torn down?
Janno
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12/Jan/2007, 11:44 pm
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
shenreed
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(1/6/07 11:53 pm)
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Re: About the illusions of life...
Hi Janno,
The dictionary defines illusion as ...................
il•lu•sion (-lzhn) n.
1. a. An erroneous perception of reality.
1. b. An erroneous concept or belief.
2. The condition of being deceived by a false perception or belief.
3. Something, such as a fantastic plan or desire, that causes an erroneous belief or perception.
4. Illusionism in art.
5. A fine transparent cloth, used for dresses or trimmings.
We are born into the families of our choosing... One that will provide us with the opportunity to experience what we need in order to heal what it is that we have re-incarnated to heal and to recover the lost parts of us.
You don't have to reject your family or those family members that desire to continue their denial because once you are real with yourself, that automatically includes any words or actions you have with them. If denial and not being real is their choice, they will be only too willing and happy to reject you to get away from heaving to deal with what they are denying...
The reason that "family" ties feel so strong and important is because that is where our major imprinting, programs and beliefs originated. Just because they feel strong and important doesn't mean that they are right or loving and that is the illusion you refer to. If as a child your parents thought nothing of say....of kicking the dog, you would not think that there was anything wrong with that action and that it was a so-called "normal" thing to do. You would automatically continue to do it until such time that you had the awareness that something was wrong with this belief and action. That conditioning, not only applies to everything associated with a family but also applies to every imprint, program and belief that every society and culture has in the manner of customs and traditions, religions and so on.
So, to finally answer your question, are illusions bad? The answer is that depends on the person and their essence. If they are of unloving essence, then illusion, delusion, confusion and denial of the truth is their nature and so it is good. If on the other hand, the person is of loving essence then those previously mentioned characteristics are not part of their natural state of being and therefor would feel off, not good, real or loving.
"Hi, how are you?"
"Oh fine, great!.. and you?"
"Oh couldn't be better!"
That's a common DENIAL based greeting people say without any real thought or feeling.... They are trying to create the illusion that they are happy and that their world is perfect... Living a lie, an illusion yet calling it "real life" If living the lie, the illusion of being happy makes you happy, then you are in your right place. If it doesn't, then you have a choice to make.
John
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12/Jan/2007, 11:45 pm
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shenreed
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
jannokas
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Posts: 133
(1/8/07 3:13 pm)
Reply About the illusions of life...
Hey John,
Now you've really hit the nail with this one!
I'm currently reading this book 'the power is within you' and the author reckons words are powerful enough to create a state of mind: say you're feeling negative about things and then you decided to think positive and say 'i'm happy, dserving and all is well'...although it may not be so...it may be really f**ked up and maybe you wanna commit a suicide, but you can't afford to stew in self-pity and go around saying to yourself 'it all sucks...' That just doesn't work.
Maybe you are saying that when you've got issues then you better deal with them, let them out!!? Or are you saying that when i feel like crap then it's perfectly fine to think in the frame of mind of that certain feeling? Or do you believe it's much wiser to try and cheer oneself up with positive affirmations? Obviouisly when i don't feel very well i don't go around pretending i'm fine, instead there is a black cloud over my head and i wanna find a way out and i start trying all sorts of ways. The release of emotions is one way. You're probably saying that it all stems from past experiences. Is that so?
In the present tense i have nothing at all to feel down about, but i'm still feeling down. That truly has got to be a past experience, because if something pisses me off in the present it happens so freely and flows so naturally that i don't even pay attention to it anymore. But how do you go about unlocking the past feelings???
Just a moment ago i received a very angry and rude letter from someone i have never met. It was on a website, where i have my pictures and receiving something like that is quite upsetting and in fact i feel that my life is in danger. Luckily i don't know that person, but you know receiving a threatening message from someone is downright scary...what did i do to upset him? Nothing at all. That person is obviously an angry person and let it all out towards me...but why? Is this pointing out to my own issues that need to be dealt with (message from god?) or is it just an arbitrary thing?
Janno
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12/Jan/2007, 11:46 pm
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shenreed
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
shenreed
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Posts: 79
(1/8/07 4:19 pm)
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Re: About the illusions of life...
Hi Janno,
While you have many questions, I feel that they can best be answered by yourself by starting over. By that I mean that you need to begin at where we began this conversation many months ago and then not only re-read, but re-feel what you were feeling during those posts and experiences.
Where you ended off in denial a few months ago and then moved away, was a choice you made, but that choice has also set you back. Now you are asking similar questions to what you did back then and can't remember or rather have chosen to forget the steps that brought you to that BIG healing point.
While you may have opened some small doors, you have also closed the BIG one... as behind that BIG door lies your greatest fear and also your greatest power. Take your time and don't "rush" just to re-read.... but allow yourself to feel and express any emotions that surface to get you back to that BIG door. When you slammed that door, you also pushed back and closed the door on any emotions that you had been moving to get you to that point... That's why in some ways, you feel that things haven't really changed.. and the same old feelings are still there... Now you know why....
What's being reflected to you with that letter on your website is your own denied anger and rage... Right now it is out there in an electronic form, (you can compare that to the Astral plane) but unless you deal with your denied anger and rage, it will be coming at you in the physical plane... This is not meant to scare you, but to inform you.... But if it scares you, be scared.... and also let yourself express your denied terror.... and then your denied heartbreak and then your anger and rage and let the emotions cycle through you... to get you to reach the parts of you that you need to heal....
John
"Healing begins in the "
Let me know how things go...
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12/Jan/2007, 11:47 pm
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
jannokas
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(1/12/07 3:20 pm)
Reply About the illusions of life...
This is a big question - in our conversations you mentioned 'All denial based Humans and those pretending to be Human' and to this point i'm still not quite sure who are those beings? Do they exist inside me or are they actual everyday people that i might even know and not be aware of their unloving nature (unlovingness as a dark soul)?
Is it true that real people walking this planet right now can be dark down on the basic cells? I'm not sure i understand any of this...All i know is that everybody has got personal issues and everyone goes differently about solving them/or healing rather?
Right now i get the feeling that whatever those beings are, they can't do anything to me other than initiate lessons of life and they exist inside me rather than inside anyone else...and they try to make me believe that they have an actual human form...say somebody gets very angry with me and straight away i see the demon in them rather than inside myself...because in the end of the day it is my own hate and unforgiveness! Isn't that so?
Janno
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12/Jan/2007, 11:48 pm
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
jannokas
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(1/12/07 3:52 pm)
Reply About the illusions of life...One HUGE issue!
I'm currently living with my partner and the way we became partners was quite a mess really. I'd just recently (3-4 years ago) 'ran away' (as i had school and a family back in Estonia) from home to get out to the BIG WORLD. So i travelled to Cyprus, where i was offered a job. I took that chance and met Steve and all his friends with whom i've stayed with since then. At the beginning of our relationship i was very happy to have found him, but then somewhere inbetween the relationship i realized that he is too old for me, but then again it's ok. It suits me in a way that i have a home and a loving partner. He knows i think he's slightly too old for me and has acted out as my life guide. Without him i wouldn't live a life of the comfort as i am now - i have a roof over my head and a sense of home and belonging...but where do i belong? I have recently been completely accepeted by both my parents and gained massive insights on my father - who in fact is a cupboard BI-sexual...I have thought of splitting with Steve a lot of the times, but then again i don't want to give up. I don't really care about anybody's looks as long as there are real feelings. Steve has exposed real feelings towards me, but i feel that he is the dark essence - he is manipulating and controlling. Our relationship is conditioned by him and i'm merely following all of his rules, because he is older and 'knows better'. I feel like i'm a sheep. I have been so far. On the other side of things i do not want to be alone. I'm afraid of the split. But my life has become very controlled by him. I'm at the crossroads...My mom says that 'don't fight' meaning to say that try and stay calm and don't loose your temper over things the way she used to when i was a kid and living under her rules and conditioning. So i have left one tyrant to end up under another tyrant's terror. That's how it feels at time. He doesn't ever use physical violence, but very often comes across as dissatisfied - although he always reminds me that i am free to do whatever i please and doesn't hold anything against me and doesn't hold resentment against me - i still feel that it's not quite true. He has not been accepted by his parents, who are 75+ and Greek heritage which is very intolerant towards homosexuals...if there is a gay person in a greek family they are rejected...not all, but most...
Help!!!
Janno
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12/Jan/2007, 11:48 pm
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shenreed
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
shenreed
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Posts: 81
(1/12/07 8:40 pm)
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Re: About the illusions of life...
Hi Janno,
That quote came from (my post:45) on page 1 of the link you gave, I desperately need some advice please, That conversation continues with (my post:47) on the same thread.
What is confusing us is that there are Humans of loving essence that "feel" are then there are humans of unloving essence and of "spirit" polarity, that ACT kind, caring and loving but in actuality have no "real" feelings. They go around ACTING as if they have no problem with their feelings or none that can't be solved by whatever means they think and say will work. They "put on a show" to convince the Humans of loving essence that their "feelings" are wrong and if they are challenged, they will twist and turn the truth and pretend that they are the victim. They will use, intimidation, interrogation, being aloft or will play the "oh poor me" as well as use guilt and shame to plant the seed of doubt in the minds of Humans of loving essence about our feelings. Once doubt has been created and then accepted by DENIAL of following and expressing what our feelings tell us are true, we are caught. And like a fish on a hook, they reel us in. This is not only their plan, but their means of survival.
Now to add to the confusion, there is also unloving essence that openly does evil and violent crimes, BUT, at the same time, there is also loving essence, that has been abused for so long and has either been denied or has denied expressing their feelings to the point that they now take out their "denied anger on rage" and will do the same evil and violent acts.
Lets put this scenario in another way that is obvious and blatant.... If a person was to come up to you and say, I will take care of you and give you everything you desire. I will tell you I love you. I will be nice, kind, caring and loving.. I will tell you lies and I will control and manipulate you to no end, just to fcuk with your mind and feelings in ways that you have yet to imagine. I'm going to use and abuse you and make you suffer mentally, physically and most importantly, emotionally as that is what really gets me off. You will not know your ass from a hole in the ground when I get finished with you.. Say YES, that you accept my offer and that you will you come and live with me for the rest of your so-called life.
If the unloving Humans were that real and honest about their real intentions, no Human of loving essence would fall for it, so instead, they get what they want by playing the game of being nice, kind and loving to hook you, and, like the fish, once you are hooked, your dinner.
"Food for thought"
John
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12/Jan/2007, 11:51 pm
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shenreed
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
Spiritual Awareness
> Questions & Answers
> Unusual Question
Unusual Question Page 4
Top of PAGE 4
shenreed
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Posts: 82
(1/12/07 8:50 pm)
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About the illusions of life...One HUGE issue!
Hi Janno
In that same thread of my last post, I did a post on being real ('06 Sept 14 Post:50) where I talked about being given a sandwich that you felt was bad, but you took it anyway and became sick...You replied in your post 62 that you had a real life example of that sandwich in your present relationship
Later in your Blog(September 27, 2006 Insights…7:58 pm) you talked about your abuse as a child by your mother and an absent father and how you left home only to be further abused.
I'm re-capping this to show you that it's all repeating itself.. it's just in a different form with different players and experiences but it's still the same "bad" sandwich....
Only now you are older and while you are able to take of yourself, you have also chosen to be dependant on another "Mother" figure. As you mentioned, you still are re-playing the same experience that you did with your mother as a child and you are afraid that if you are real and express what is really going on, that you will be tossed out and have no where to go, that you will be alone, unloved and unwanted. just like before only that time you ran away.
So you bite your tongue, keep your mouth shut and make the best of a bad situation... after all, it's better to live with the devil you know than one you don't know. And as you do that, you also blame yourself and your feelings for your lack of happiness in your life... but then you rationalize that even if you're not happy, at least you can be gay.... As long as we have attachments to people, places and things, we can never find or be our real self as real healing is impossible because we are afraid to loose what we think is love, even though our heart and soul is screaming out that IT ISN'T LOVE.
What happened on '06 Sept 29 as you describe in your blog, which I replied to on Page 3 My Post:71 (9/29/06 )The Illusions... of what we call life... is or was a KEY POINT in your healing.
What happened that day was to get you to the point of being aware of what was really going on and to not deny or go past it. It has been my experience that in going past such a healing trigger, or opportunity, that we not only close the door on our fragment but also on the work that we did to get us to that door. When we are activated, we always have four choice,1) Run 2) fight 3) give up, 4) surrender to love
Now... we not only have to go back over a similar path to be re-activated, but we also have to address our past issues of slamming the door on the lost fragments that we said we were accepting and going to heal... It (our denied fragments) doesn't feel safe, in fact they feel even more afraid, less trusting, unsure, alone, confused and more hopelessness. Does that pretty well sum up what you're feeling?
While you may have exposed and healed some issues with your parents, that little boy is still OUT THERE.. still waiting for you to stand up and say that what you and he are experiencing in the moment you are feeling it, isn't love. But just the very thought of challenging a loved one and expressing yourself also brings up all your fears that I just mentioned.....
It's a hard choice you have to make. Stay in the hell hole and lose your Soul or turn around and surrender to love. Love yourself unconditionally to express what you have always denied and walk away from everything that you thought and believed was love...but isn't.
"Food for thought"
John
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12/Jan/2007, 11:56 pm
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shenreed
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
jannokas
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Posts: 137
(1/12/07 8:57 pm)
Reply Re: About the illusions of life...One HUGE issue!
Another thing i'm just not at all sure of...what is this Big Door??? In what way does it appear to have been closed by me?
Apparently you've already answered that question...i didn't see your reply...
There is some difficult choices to be made...please send me light so I won't lose my way again...
Janno
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12/Jan/2007, 11:57 pm
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
Hi Janno,
The BIG door is the door of FEAR OF. Right now your BIG door is your fear of allowing your feelings and intuition to be expressed because if they are right, then that means your mind is wrong, and has been wrong, all along and then that will change everything and your world will come tumbling down. … Your mind wants to remain in control… of everything, your body, feelings, emotions and intuition and even your heart….
CONTROL is not Unconditional Love. You don’t like it when others control you… That’s what your mother did, that’s what others have done to you. That’s what your partner is doing to you, and why? … Because that is what you are doing to yourself! You are CONTROLLING the parts of you that you find unacceptable and how do you think they feel? Controlled, manipulated, unloved, unwanted, alone, confused, All this is going on INSIDE you and is being reflected back to you, by your OUTSIDE experiences. And the puppet master is your mind… A mind that has been altered by it’s imprints, programs and beliefs that it believes to be the truth and reality… The mind is living the Illusion it believes to be real…
My light is already shining…. You need to find the heart light within you and let it shine… and not control it….
John
PS: Thanks for the, question, “There is some difficult choices to be made...please send me light so I won't lose my way again...” as I was responding, I was also being activated . I, like you am also controlling my light and my fear is about getting my books out there and “shining my light” My fear is about not shining to bright as to attract those that will want to kill it… Shine…. but not to bright…. Putting you light under a bushel basket… Hummmm?
I went to find my Bible and I opened it and glanced down to a verse that I had marked… it was St Luke 11:33 “No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel basket, but on a candle stick, that they which come in may see the light.”
I never understood or felt it the way I’m feeling it now…. I am the light, the truth and the way. My books are going to be out there… for all to see that want to see….
Thanks again my brother.
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12/Jan/2007, 11:58 pm
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shenreed
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
Spiritual Awareness
> Questions & Answers
> Unusual Question
jannokas
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Posts: 138
(1/12/07 10:26 pm)
Reply Re: About the illusions of life...One HUGE issue!
Ok you see the truth is that i stayed with him at first because i believed i was doing him a favour...i was afraid he will be too miserable without me and might even kill himself. That's how it all started between us. I thought i was being loving by staying with him and making him happy...
What do you think of that?
Janno
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13/Jan/2007, 12:03 am
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
jannokas
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Posts: 139
(1/12/07 10:33 pm)
Reply An Issue being solved...
My goodness i'm completely confused by this, but i'm very happy for you for realizing your own light!!! What a marvel .
I am in so much fear right now...i'm not sure all of this will work out at all, but i guess i'll have to leave that for tomorrow. Can't think too hard too late...
I'll have all of my feelings written in my online Diary...
Thank you for leading the way for me !
Janno
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13/Jan/2007, 12:04 am
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shenreed
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
jannokas
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Posts: 140
(1/13/07 7:33 pm)
Reply Wonderful!
I wish i was able to see my light already...
Like you said all these feelings of abandonment have surfaced and i feel like backing off this whole thing...i'm afraid i'm making the wrong decision...
Please don't hold back your light, there are so many of us who need your guidance...but then again...better not to get attched to anything...
In need of some brotherly love
Edited by: jannokas at: 1/13/07 10:19 pm
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16/Jan/2007, 11:13 pm
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
jannokas
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Posts: 141
(1/14/07 3:42 pm)
Reply Hey!
Hey John!
Now i've discovered that the reason why i've chosen to stay in this relationship is that he has helped me to come to terms with all the issues i had when i was younger - such as shyness and the fear of not having a place to go and he's helped me to patch up the wounds i had from the past...I think i'm not quite sure what is going on anymore...who's the devil here? He is still controlling like we've established, but he's also been quite good to me in a way that he halped me to come to terms to my 'child' self...brought me up in a way...
Janno
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16/Jan/2007, 11:14 pm
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
shenreed
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Posts: 84
(1/15/07 3:54 pm)
Reply
Raising your Vibration... Lifting out of the Fog
Hi Janno,
After I wrote and posted [post 75].... "Confusion.... being on two different pages..." on Page 3 of this thread I felt that there was more that you need to know. I got to thinking that you need to not only become aware of your body and what is yours and what isn’t, you also need to be come aware of your thoughts and what are not your thoughts and what is actually old imprints, programs and beliefs that other people spoke and told you, or you read, that you took as truth and reality. They might also be the voices of the Inner Critic or of Guilt and shame or of an unloving so-called guide or entities you falsely believe are your voices and your thoughts. If they are your thoughts and your consciousness, then you need to find out why you are thinking this way, where the thoughts came from and what inspired them and where they are going. If they are NOT your thoughts, then you need to challenge them to find out why you have them and why you believe that what they are saying is true. It may have been a truth in the past, but is it the truth in this moment or experience?
To add to the confusion, In that same moment, you also have to become aware of your feelings, emotions and your intuition. You also have to separate your feelings and emotions from other people’s feelings and emotions that your intuition is picking up. Again, like your thoughts, you need to go deeper and ask, but now more importantly, be open to feel them to their depth. You also have to become aware of what feelings and emotions are also old Imprints, programs and beliefs.
Ahh.. but there is more. Now you need to combine all three of these in the moment of your experience. You need to be aware of what your Mind is thinking, what your feelings and emotions and intuition are feeling and what you Body is sensing and then you need to have an inner dialogue (without denial) to determine the loving response.
You only have 1/10 of a second (the blink of an eye) at best before your mind (working on its old imprints, programs and beliefs and denial) snaps the door shut on the input he is getting from his Will ( feelings and intuition) and from his Body and goes with the same old program and the unloving cycle continues.
The hardest part of awakening your consciousness is to get the mind to STOP from moving past the information that it is receiving from the Will and Body and to also examine and question its old imprints, programs and beliefs. As long as the mind is CLOSED and in denial of the other parts of its being, then no healing, no growth and no rise of consciousness is possible, but the opposite is true.
You are literally, right now, in a thick pea soup fog where you can’t even see your hand in front of your face. This fog is made up of old imprints, programs and beliefs as well as feelings and emotions and physical sensations and they are not just your own, but are also everyone and everything around you including entities and Spirits in the Astral plane. Including your past life fragments.
You literally have to think and slowly feel your way through this fog, but not in the OLD way that you have been used to. Now you have to become aware of every thought, word, feeling, emotion, deed, action, and re-action and then responding to the situation in love, instead of RE-ACTING.
And slowly, the fog begins to break up you begin to see things as they really are and as you raise your consciousness higher and higher you begin to move to a place where you are above the densest part of the fog. You can still see and hear your friends and loved ones calling out from the fog that you were once in. From this point, you can see and hear them but they can’t see or hear you. It’s as if you were two different worlds, on two different pages, as you are on a different level of vibration or consciousness than they are. While you may be out of the thickest fog, you are still... "in the fog" but now the fog is less dense and now you move around a little more easier in search of truth, love and the awareness that will lift you still higher. Moving a little easier, but also feeling a little lost and lonelier, as all that you knew is still in the fog.
An important point I feel I need to make here is that the hardest thing that I needed to realize on this journey was that (A) you can’t go back, and (B) you can’t "save" or "lift" anyone out of the fog. They have to get out on their own. If you try to go back and get them, then you risk losing your way and becoming stuck in the fog that you worked so hard to get out of. Once you feel the fog closing back in around you, you also know that it’s not what you desire and so you know you can’t go back unless that is your is your desire. If you have these thoughts and feelings, then gain, you need to go into them to see what imprints, programs, beliefs or guilt and shame you are still carrying that say you need to sacrifice yourself to save another. You also need to look at your possible attachments to these people as attachments are also not coming from a place of unconditional love, but control.
John
Last edited by shenreed, 16/Jan/2007, 11:20 pm
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16/Jan/2007, 11:16 pm
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shenreed
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
shenreed
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Posts: 85
(1/15/07 3:55 pm)
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The hardest First step
Re: Page 4 (jannokas Posts: 138 Re: About the illusions of life...One HUGE issue!
Hi Janno,
Having the courage to finally face up to your attackers, or to leave an unloving relationship is considered by most to be a step of self-love but it really isn’t, as the real issues have still been denied. All it is, is merely a form change and of going to the other end of the denial teeter-totter. It’s simply making another choice, one of the first three of the basic choices we have, are which are:
A) Fight
B) Flight
C) Give up
D) Surrender to love
By far the hardest first step to self love is choice (D) which is to have the courage, the Heart, and self love to face and express you "Real" emotions, feelings and intuition in the moment you are thinking of choosing either one of the first three choices. Expressing "False" emotions, based on what you think has happened, is happening or is about to happen is merely other versions of the first three choices and is not expressing your "real" emotions.
"Food for thought"
John
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16/Jan/2007, 11:18 pm
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shenreed
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
shenreed
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Posts: 86
(1/15/07 3:58 pm)
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Insights on my not "shining my light" not writing
Re: This thread, Page 4 (shenreed Post: 83... Shining your Light)
Hi Janno,
Thanks again for the actgivation...
After I was activated, I realized lated that while I had gotten to the stage of having most of the material for my next books a few years ago, I wasn’t personally ready. That’s to say that I still had more healing to do and more cycling through the various stages and levels of "walking my talk" to get me to "shine my light."
In my journey, I first I had to get my light ignited within me (light my candle) in order for me to see my light. Once I had it lit and seen it for what it is, now I never want to put it out and neither do I want to hide it, I want to share it. BUT... that was also a problem. Those that I wanted to share it with didn’t want to see it or they would say that I was preaching or that I was holier than thou. They wanted me to hide my light or to not shine it so bright.
In the years following my "lighting my candle," so to speak, I cycled through various chat groups and forums on the internet, to personal groups I tried to form, to friends and family to personal relationships and then to myself and then I’d reverse the order and work my way back out again. And after that, I do it all over again reaching a different level of healing and understanding.
I feel that that work I’ve done in the past few months has helped get me to this point. Having again "walked my talk" and cycled through family and friends and then out into the public world but this time on a very physical and personal level. That is to say, that I now had direct and personal contact, from very close friends and expanding that all the way out to meeting thousands of people while working at Dollarama. In the course of my interactions with employees and customers, I choose not deny my light, but to let it shine and not keep it a secret or hide it under a bushel basket.
A few days before being activated by you, I was talkling to Irene, a friend of mine, about how I was blocked on writing my book, While we pulled out some issues that I still had to look at and heal,I still felt that there was something missing and now I feel that this is it, as it all makes sense. All these experiences these past few years were necessary in order to prepare me for this moment and also the coming changes.
The writing and publishing my book will be another stage or level of my growth and healing experience on a global level. After that there will be the phone calls and meetings, book signings, lectures, workshops, interviews, TV appearances, one cycle after another. And intertwined with this and doing their own cycles are all the other issues that I have, that still need to be healed. And again, they will move from within, to personal relationships, to family and friends, and continue in an outward spiral and then they will begin their return cycle to start all over again, but now on a higher level of consciousness and awareness.
And so the journey into the unknown continues.
John
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16/Jan/2007, 11:19 pm
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
jannokas
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Posts: 142
(1/17/07 10:32 pm)
Reply Insights on my not "shining my light" not writing
Dear John,
First i want to say i wish there was something i could do or say to convince you of not hiding your light under the bushel basket - let it shine as brightly as it needs to!
Secondly i would like to ask you - when you talk about healing...then is it healing of fear? You are healing yourself from the 'old ways' and bringing back the youthful spirit that knows no boundaries? Although i know what it means intuitively, but perhaps you could explain it a little bit?
Janno
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28/Jan/2007, 12:01 am
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Re: Jannokas Journey (posted by John aka Shenreed)
shenreed
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Posts: 87
(1/18/07 1:00 am)
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Re: Insights on my not "shining my light" not writ
Hi Janno,
Thanks for the encouragement...
Yes, you are correct but there is more. When I say healing, I'm primarly talking about healing your emotions, including fear. But fear is not the only emotion, ALL emotions that are deemed "negative" need to be healed and that includes, heartbreak, anger and rage, terror, and everything in between. Then you also have to deal with healing the mind and the body... The mind needs to let go of it's imprints, programs and beliefs, and the body needs to let go of the unloving energy it's holding that is creating disease in the body...
I'm going to give you a link to my Message Board. I did a post a while back on fear that will give you some "food for thought."
John
"Healing begins in the Heart"
PS: Edited for the following related link.
Spiritual Awareness > Questions & Answers > Fear is what?
My post>>> shenreed Posts: 24 (6/28/06 8:02 am)
Edited by: shenreed at: 1/18/07 2:05 pm
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28/Jan/2007, 12:02 am
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